EFD News

Satirical news from the jewelry bench. Every story is about a real maker, and every one ran with their blessing.

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NOLAN VS. NOLAN — WHO'S THE 'BETTER JEWELER'? CAGE FIGHT FRIDAY TO SETTLE ONGOING FEUD.Watch the ReelSTEVEN TYLER V. CRITTER: TYLER FILES TRADEMARK FOR 'THE DESIGNER,' ISSUES CEASE AND DESIST ARGUING 'I HAD IT FIRST'.Watch the ReelDEEP RIVER JEWELRY INTRODUCES 'WHILE YOU WAIT' CUSTOMS, NOLAN STATES 'IT DOESN'T TAKE THAT LONG'.Watch the ReelTHIRD EYE ASSEMBLY FOUNDER COMPLETES FIRST 'BLINDFOLDED' PIECE, CALLS IT 'MORE INTUITIVE THAN SIGHT'Watch the ReelTHE FELLOWSHIP FORGE CONFIRMS CUSTOMERS MUST 'COMPLETE A QUEST' BEFORE PURCHASE STATING 'THE GEM MUST BE EARNED'.Watch the ReelTHIRD EYE ASSEMBLY FOUNDER SAYS JEWELRY IS 'NO LONGER CHALLENGING', WILL NOW WORK BLINDFOLDED USING 'THIRD EYE ONLY'Watch the ReelBENCH JEWELER MEMES FACES REVEALED: CHARLIE DAY AND DANNY DEVITO REPORTEDLY 'BEHIND THE MADNESS'Watch the ReelADAM GARRET TO OFFER 'WEEKEND MASTER CLASS' CRAMMING OVER 15 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE INTO A 15 HOUR START TO FINISH COURSE.Watch the ReelMOHON JEWELRY OPENS DUDE RANCH EXPERIENCE, IN HOPES TO 'ACCLIMATE CITY SLICKERS TO WESTERN JEWELRY'.Watch the ReelJOHNNY DANG LAUNCHES NEW 'DIAMOND BBQ GRILLS', CLAIMING 'CHARCOAL IS OUTDATED—WE USE ICE NOW'Watch the ReelWOLFMAN SUN DESIGNS IMPLEMENTS 'ONE PIECE PER CUSTOMER' POLICY. TELLING RETURNING CLIENTS 'YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE'.Watch the ReelRAFTARK JEWELRY SELECTED TO TRAIN FIRST AI POWERED TESLA JEWELER BOT.Watch the ReelMOSES FIXES ECONOMY WITH 'ROLEX STIMULUS' SAYS 'ROLIES FOR THE WHOLE SQUAD'Watch the ReelTRUMP PROPOSES TARIFFS ON GOLD-PLATED JEWELRY, CALLS IT 'FAKE NEWS'Watch the ReelTRAXNYC ENDS WAR IN IRAN. CALLS IT 'BAD DEAL'.Watch the Reel